Have you ever walked into a room and seen a couple of people talking and then one of them looks over at you? And maybe they laugh and you say to yourself, I wonder if they're talking about me, then I wonder what they're thinking? Well, we have that kind of experience more often than not. And the easy thing to do is to jump to the wrong conclusion. I remember some years ago, a friend of mine wanted me to bring some chairs to his house for a party we're having. So I showed up, knocked on the door, and he greeted me at the door and said, Hi, Ron, good to see you.

And they looked around and said, Where are the chairs? And I said, Oh, I forgotten. They looked at me and said, just like this, that figures and I thought, what does it mean that figures he means I can't follow through it means I'm no good. I'm worthless. I'm incompetent. Unlike me, he doesn't respect me.

And so I got bugged at him. And then he was over in a corner talking with a group of people. And sure enough, a couple of them looked over at me. And they were smiling. And I went back to him. And I thought, he's telling them how crummy I am, how I don't follow through how I don't keep my word.

And then I started to think I don't like him, and I'm going to start to get my own crowd, tell them how bad he is. See how juvenile that is? Well, I started to think that way. And, you know, I just got angry at them. And so every time I thought about it, and said, Well, maybe I should go ask him what he meant. And and I realized I had two options, either go ask him what he meant, assuming the best, which was hard to assume, or simply forget, and forgive and I decided to do the latter out of cowardice, I think.

But few weeks later, because every time I saw him, I was getting upset or angry or frustrated and not liking him. I said, I'm going to just go up and ask him what he meant. So I went up to him and said, You know, the other day when we met, I was supposed to bring chairs to your house, you greeted me in the door and and when I told you I forgot him, you said and he said he stopped me there and he said, Ron, I know what I said. I said that figure and I shouldn't have said that. And so I said, Yeah, that's that's what I thought. But you said, so I was wondering, what a demain I thought, What's he gonna say?

And he said, Ron, all day long. And in every meeting I was in, someone forgot something. It just figured you get what was going on. His point wasn't about me. his point was about his day. Not that I was worthless or, or frustrating, but that his day was frustrating.

And yet, you know, I want to guarantee you I would have gone to my grave probably not liking him, because I was assuming the worst. Well, the whole point of this session is simply this. We have a right view of people by affirming them with our thoughts. We think the best, we have positive thoughts about people. So the first thing you need to do, if you're going to be the kind of person who is truly building up other people is to think the best with your mind, think the best. The second thing that you need to do is to stop and reflect.

So someone says something that hurts your feelings or you heard someone said something about you or someone makes a comment, you think it's offensive, instead of reacting to them. I want you to stop for five minutes and reflect. I want you to reflect on a number of things. But I want you to particularly think of this list that we're going to have for you in your notes here. Before you assume learn the facts. Before you judge try to understand why why did the person say this What was the motivation?

What was going on with them before you hurt someone, feel try to feel with them. You know, there's a difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is when you say someone hits their thumb with a hammer and you go, I'm sorry. Empathy is when someone hits their thumb with a hammer and you go, ouch, you feel with them. And so before you hurt someone, try to feel with them. Try to walk in their shoes, try to get a sense of their perspective.

But try to feel with them, perhaps what they're feeling. And then before you speak, think so don't just feel and blurt it out. But before you speak, think. Now if you can do those four things, by taking simply five minutes to stop and reflect and follow this mantra that an individual is put together over time, it's going to help you so much and having the right thoughts. That will help you affirm the people you're around. So first, think the best second, stop for five minutes and reflect.

Now I'd like for you to evaluate how you do at believing the best. And one of the best ways to do that is to think through a person in your life where you're not believing the best. And simply think, how am I? What are my thoughts about that person? And how can I adjust them in light of thinking the best and in light of the four things we just talked about under the reflections section. And then your action step between now and the next video that you watch is to process this for one individual, this whole process of thinking the best and stopping reflecting at least two times before you move to the next video, okay, remember, we're trying to build habits, trying to build a new way of thinking and habits.

So let's go at it.