When I got estranged from my family, it was a really difficult time for me to, you know, just settle in life or are burnt out without any money. I was extremely scared. I was extremely stressed. I didn't know how I would survive in this world. And somehow that things turn out to be good. I found a friend of mine who gave me shelter for a few days.

And then I started staying with him. I was paying him rent, I got a job, and things rolled out pretty well. But after I left my home for about three years, I was really insecure. My focus was on gaining people's approval, showing people how good I was so that I could get their acceptance. All my actions were to impress people, all my actions Were to connect with people. I was very much focused on outward things and lacked internal approval.

I didn't approve myself. I wasn't impressed by myself. I didn't accept myself. It's such an irony that I was expecting acceptance from other people from my family from my friends from my boss, but I never truly accepted myself because I was very insecure from within. Now, what happens is that when you are facing certain situations in your life and you feel anxious, by default, your mental process is too much focused on external circumstances. Okay, you might be insecure about your morning.

So you are again focused outside People should not laugh at me, people should praise the way I work out etc, okay whatever it is whatever kind of anxiety you have, you will see that you are always afraid of how people will judge you. You will see that whether or not you are getting external approval or not. And you will also see that in that particular area itself, you are not accepting yourself the way you are. So, it becomes very important for us to make this internal shift. Instead of focusing on others approval, we have to focus on cultivating self approval, we have to accept the way we are and to do that the easiest way is to tell that it's okay to be the way I am. So I set myself a separate hundred times that you know what when it's okay it's okay if you don't have the right car if it's okay if you don't have good clothes because you are not settled You don't even know if you're gonna have next dinner or not.

So why are you stressing yourself out to come out as so perfect and fixed human being in front of others? I am broke and I have to accept that and I tell myself it's okay not First of all, I don't have to compare myself with people who are on level 100 Okay, I am on level zero I cannot compare myself to level hundred. And when I do that, if I if I expect people to see me as someone who is you know, all rounder someone who is perfect Then I will always have that kind of anxiety. So I started telling myself It's okay. And I started really feeling the feeling of telling yourself that it's okay. And you get a lot of relief from them.

Once you tell and accept yourself that it's okay to be broke, it's okay to come off. As imperfect sometimes it's okay to sometimes lose control of yourself. You can sometimes make mistake It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I wasn't okay because my family told me I wasn't okay.

And because of them, I started telling myself that I wasn't okay. So, at the end it social anxiety and anxiety in general is all about accepting your current state as it is Many people get stuck in the How to kind of thing like how do I convince myself that I am okay how do I accept myself? How do I let go? You just have to, there is no how to you just do it. That's it and you will see that your anxiety will be relieved a lot. So when you are struggling through this anxiety phase, the thing is that you are too much focused on other people's approval and their acceptance.

What I want you to do is first make a shift in yourself and start accepting yourself without changing a thing about you. Don't change your financial situations don't change. Don't change anything. Just accept yourself the way you are. In Sanskrit it is called as jatha booth the way it is. Okay.

So that is the First thing and the second thing is that you have to know what really matters to you what really matters in your life. You are so much focused on gaining other people's approval that you forget that you that there are some things that you would really want in your life. For example, I never wanted to look broke emotionally or financially. So I did everything I could. I, even if I earned a penny, I would spend $1 on getting the right shoes so that people don't, you know, make wrong judgments about me. But when I accepted myself, life became so much easier.

I was too focused on being perfect from the outside that I was broken inside. So I made that shift. And when I made that shift, my mind automatically came onto the track of what firmware true values What I really wanted to do in my life All right. So, the thing is that life becomes better when you are in line with your values. Okay is now you cannot say that my value is that everyone should accept me, my value is everyone should like me No, this cannot be your value. So in, in this video I have shared with you a few exercises, you can download that from the resource section can go through those exercise and you will become a lot more clear on what it is that you really want to do with your life.

Okay, the exercises are spread across all the domains of life, health, wealth, relationships, career, etc, etc. Okay, so spend some time really work it out. And you have to have a positive approach in life towards, towards practicing things that really magnet to you instead of doing things out of fear, okay. So for example, you can say, for example, if I in my situation if I want to dress properly and if I want to really refine my addressing skills, if that is my value, then it is okay. But if I'm doing it out of fear that people will judge me as an inappropriate or inferior being then it is wrong, you get the point you have to be clear between what is it that you are doing out of fear and what is it that you are doing out of true values. I also want to share with you a technique which is called as flip the fear technique, or do have to do is you have to state all the fears that you have a new app to try to see what are the underlying values behind it.

Okay, say for example, I have a fear of getting rejected by a girl. So what is it? What is the value that is beneath it? And, to my surprise, I find that acceptance is a huge value for me. If people don't accept me, I don't feel complete. I don't feel worthy of my life.

So you have to understand that all your fears, all your anxieties are coming up. Because you are having a wrong perception about your values. Instead of trying to work on your values from inside, what you are doing is you're trying to protect your values from external harm. If you have value you will be vulnerable to it. You will be vulnerable. Do it.

Okay. So what I want to say is just focus and get in tune with your values again, shift your focus from external to internal acceptance and your life will be much, much, much better. Okay, and download the exercise sheet and do the exercises. Okay, this will be a really great help for you