Hello, and this says my first live video on Facebook for the group. So if you if you get a chance to watch this live, then that's great. And if not, hey, it's okay. You can watch it at your own time because it will be there. So first of all, thank you for joining the resilience reflex online program and the resilience champion school. So guess what, you're now a resilience champion.

And a resilience champion is someone who goes through difficulties in through adversities but knowing that they can cope, knowing that they can come through with new learnings. And that's what being a resilience champion is all about. So today, and if you're joining me now just say hi and just so you know, if they This is your first time using Facebook Live, you can actually click on the screen and say hi, you know, you'll see some likes or hearts, whatever you want to do, you can do that. Okay, so today I wanted to share with you how to deal with difficult relationships or co workers or people. And this is not your typical, you know, Oh, do this and do that. But everything that I share with you is about how you can deal with it.

It's not about how to handle others, but it's about how you can deal with it. So, I'll give you two strategies and you can use either or, okay. First, let me give you a story. So a few years ago, I was having dinner with my husband and we were discussing something and I don't even remember what happened, but I was washing the dishes after and we started arguing and he got so upset at me and it's very seldom that he gets upset. So I must have really irked him. And we hardly ever argue, by the way, but he came to the sink and he threw his plate and it scared me.

And I was so upset at him. But then afterwards when I was going through this exercise with with my own coach, I realized that I only saw the situation from my viewpoint. So does that relate to you? Say yes, in the comment section. And when I did this exercise, what my coach told me and everything that I shared with you, by the way, is actually based on my background in NLP, which is neuro linguistic programming, taking NLP which by the way, does cost quite a bit of money. taught me a lot about the way we see the world.

So one of the things that I found is Hey, Leanne, thank you for saying Yes, yeah. So what He said to me was I want you to float out of your body, and then float into the other person. So what I want you to do, as I do this with you is think about a person that you recently had an argument with, that can be a loved one, it can be a co worker that you're having difficulty with. Pick, pick anyone that you had an altercation with, just lately. Now that you have found that what I want you to do is take a moment and if you want to close your eyes while I go through this, that's fine as well. So take a moment and go back to the time that you were there physically, mentally in your head, I want you to go back to the time that you had the argument or the altercation, whatever it was.

Now, while you're there, I want you to look at the other person from your viewpoint and look at him or her way you did. And just take a moment to take that in. And notice what's happening, or your emotions getting a little bit more anxious now, that's fine. Just take a deep breath. And then I want you to float out of your body. So just imagine that you're still standing there, but you're floating out of your body, and you're going into the other person.

So what I did with my eyes when the coach was, you know, doing this, I was back in that space in the in my own kitchen, and I floated out of the body, and I went into my husband's body. And then he looked at me from my husband's viewpoint. And I want you to feel what the other person's feeling see yourself through his or her eyes. And now what are you seeing? Now when this happened to me, when I floated into my husband's body and looked at me from his viewpoint, I realized that the problem was that he felt he wasn't being heard. He was hurting as well.

He didn't like that we were having an argument. And that was interesting to take it in from his viewpoint. Then I floated out of his body and went into the corner of the kitchen. So for you, what I want you to do is float out of the other person's body and go into the corner of the room that you're in, and just look at the both of you from that corner. So this is like when you're watching a movie, isn't it? When you're watching a movie, you're like, I know what the other person's thinking, I know what this you know, other person's thinking, Why don't they see it themselves?

Well, the same thing happens in real life. We don't take the other person's point of view, the way I just asked you to do. So when you look at it from the corner and then look at the movie that is playing. You realize oh, Look at the two of us. So for me, it was the same way. I thought, look at the two of us, we're going over little small things, and it's making a big deal.

So what I want you to do is practice this exercise again. And notice what happens. Another way to do it. So this is just you know, doing it like you're floating in and floating out while you are thinking about it. But if you have time, what I would seriously get you to do especially if you're dealing with a co worker that is giving you issues and you don't know how to deal with it or a loved one and you just don't know how to deal with it. This is remember in the end, it's all about you how you deal with the situation.

What I want you to do is make some floor cards. So what I did was I just took a piece of paper and and then just cut them in half. And what I want you to do is label oneself now I know it comes back words to you, I think and then label the other one other which is the other person. And then the last one I want you to label metta. Okay, so that self other meta, what are you doing here? So I had a client who came to me and say she was having a lot of trouble with a coworker, actually her manager, and she felt that she was not being understood.

So the manager was always snapping at her, you know, getting mad at her, according to my client. And so I did this exercise with her and I said, Okay, now think of something that just happened recently that she got upset at you it. She did. And then she and then we did the floor cards. So she stepped into herself and I asked her, okay, what is going on with you when this happens? And she gave me a list of things that happen and how she feels and how it makes her feel and the self talk that is going on.

I said, Okay, now what I want you to do is Step out of the self and step into the card that says other. Now you are your manager. And I want you to look at the viewpoint of what just happened from your managers point of view. So basically become your manager, look at the situation, from your managers point of view, understand how she feels so what is going on with her Now, can you tell me as as your manager? What Why are you doing what you're doing to my client? So the man so my client who is now the manager says, I just want to make sure that the day runs smoothly because everything falls on me at the end.

If they don't do their job, it all comes on me at the end and I have to report to someone else. So yes, I do get a little bit snappy. I do get a little bit, you know, but I want to make sure everything you know works fine. And it was like an aha moment for my client when she saved that Because she said, Oh my god, now I understand where she's coming from before she never thought about that. And then I told her now step out of the other and step into meta. And when she stepped into meta, she looked at the situation as an outsider.

So now, you're, it's not her client. She's not being herself. She's not being the manager. She's looking at it as another outside person into the situation. So it's just like watching a movie basically. Right?

And she understood, and she looked in and she said, You know what, I am taking it so seriously. And this is her intention is to make sure that things work out properly, and I just didn't understand her. She said, Now, I understand her intention. I will make sure that I can relate to her in that way. And it was amazing and she went back and she said, it worked out so much better with her manager. So what Do you think about this exercise that I've shared with you?

The end, you are on there. The other person I don't think could make it today. And I'll have more people joining in next week, but let me know what you thought about this exercise. And if you want to try it out with someone else, or yourself with the floor cards, then by all means you can use this video again, to do that you can watch it again on our Facebook group. So if you can just tell me what you thought about if this was something new for you, something that you'd never thought of, by all means, go ahead and do that. Okay, so I hope that this is something that helps you and is an add on.

My goal is to give you as much information as much help as I can. Because it's important to me that you make resilience, your first reflex, so next Thursday. If you want to work on something or talk about something that would help you, by all means, please make a comment in the in the Facebook group. If not, then I'll think of something else that that works. Okay, so, a comment, I think it seems to work well, I could see exactly how you have saved it. Yeah.

When I did this, now I do it so unconsciously, by the way. So my husband and I run a wellness center. And that's where I am right now. And a lot of people make comments about us that we are so that we work so well together. And I say I think it's because of what I learned in NLP is when he say something, I won't jump on it right away. I'll take a moment and subconsciously, I'll just float into his body, look at it from his point of view, and then I'll say, Oh, that's the way he's looking at it.

Okay, now, let me come back and think and ask him what he thinks about this. And that's why we can run the business the way we do and we do You know, like a lot of people are amazed that we don't argue and fight about it and I think it's because of that. Okay, so there you go. That's a little nugget for today. So I'll do these every Thursday and if you have questions then I will also take those on on Thursdays. Until next time and have a good night.

Bye.