Okay, on to the final principle, Principle number six. And that is, make the other person feel important. But of course do it sincerely. Remember, the word of the day is genuine. Carnegie writes his book about a time when he was visiting the post office and saw one of the clerks who seemed very bored at the time, Carnegie decided that he wanted to make the clerk feel better by commenting on something he liked about the clerk. So he looked at him and try to identify a characteristic that he genuinely liked.
Remember, you shouldn't be insincere about these things. He saw that the clerk had a very nice head of hair, makes me jealous. Carnegie then remarked to the clerk, and said, I certainly wish I had your head of hair. The clerk looked up, smiled and said, well, it isn't as good as it used to be. Carnegie talked a little bit more to the clerk and they had a very pleasant conversation. In his book, Carnegie states that he assumed that the clerks day was a little bit better.
Because of that conversation, he made the clerk feel special and important. Let's take a quick look at what two American psychologists had to say on the subject. Number one, the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature, and to the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. These two statements are almost identical. So what should that tell us? Well, do you remember back in high school, where you probably learned about Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is the psychological explanation of how human motivation moves from the bottom up from the basic to the highest level of attainment. First, humans need to satisfy their psychological needs, then safety than loving, belonging, then esteem and then self actualization and only in that order. If you look in the green esteem, it's the same as importance. Humans have the basic need to feel important. So help others with that need. Talk to people about themselves, and they'll listen for hours, make others feel important.
And do it sincerely. You know, in a conversation, people aren't really going to remember you so much for what you say nearly as much as for how you made them feel. And making them feel important is a huge component to likeability. So there we have Principle number six, make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely. So let's briefly go over these six principles of likeability. Number one, be genuinely interested in other people.
Make that effort to smile and do it sincerely. Have your mouth smile and your eyes. Remember, and use people's names Especially if you can pronounce them correctly. Be a good listener, listen intently. Look at people in the eyes while you're doing it. talk in terms of people's interests, pick up on what those interests are and expand on them.
Ask more questions. And finally, make other people feel important. Make the occasional comment, compliment people show that you notice their unique and positive characteristics. And don't be shy in doing so. regarding these six principles, you don't need to practice all of these all the time. However, I would suggest trying all of these at some point hopefully sooner than later.
Remember that being likable is a skill that anyone can learn. It takes practice. So try to make these six principles part of your skill set for a lifetime. So that does it for our six principles today. Let's go on to the next section and answer that mystery question.