So on to number four. The fourth principle of being likable is be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves. Let me start with a story. This story is Dale Carnegie's specific story straight out of his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. And it goes like this. Dale Carnegie happened to be attending a specific dinner party, where he spent most of his time talking to one particular man throughout the whole time about that man's hobby.
And that man's hobby was botany. Now, for those of you who don't understand botany, it's the scientific study of plants. Some might find it interesting. Some might not me, particularly, I love all aspects of science, but it bores some other people. But that was besides the point to Dale Carnegie. He knew that listening whether it was interesting or not to him, was a great compliment to the person speaking.
So at this dinner party surrounded by people, he focused just on the person he was speaking to. And he encouraged this man to talk more about botany. Carnegie thought it would be a great idea to ask more about botany, because he would stimulate the other man to talk more as the subject was discussed. Carnegie not only listened very closely, he also became very interested in the subject. He was genuinely interested in the man and his conversation about botany. This discussion lasted for over two hours.
And Carnegie said very little during that time, while only encouraging the man to speak more about the subject and asking thought provoking questions. Interestingly enough, this man commented to the host to the party that Mr. Carnegie was an amazing conversationalist. Really, he hardly said anything at all. But the man felt like And appreciated because Carnegie gave his full and genuine attention to him that night. Why? Remember this?
Good listening is one of the best compliments you can give a person. Not only does this work in social situations, it works in negative situations. If you have an angry friend, an upset boss, a concerned customer or client, if you have upset parents or concerned parents, if you're in a relationship and you have one of those talks, what should you do? Give your full attention and listen intently to what these people have to say. You'll be showing them respect and it will most likely help to defuse a situation. And overall Remember to be interesting, be interested, show that you're genuinely interested in what the other person has to say.
So for Principle number four, keep in mind, don't forget And remember, be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves. By doing so, that makes you seem to be a great conversationalist.