The first step in healing is to start avoiding checking out and actually begin to confront How you feeling about things. What is it that you're doing to actually check out there's actually a science behind this. Most people fill their life full of things that fill their time and keep them busy and they will provide some sort of short term relief or distraction. So if you think of like, when maybe when you were a kid, maybe you were upset by something, maybe your mother offered you a cookie. So the mother might have said, Don't cry, have a cookie, you're gonna feel better later in life, you then start associating fixing your feelings with food, eating the cookie in the moment, the child will get distracted by forget about the incident that caused the upsets, but the fact remains that there was no emotional completion of the pain caused by the event itself.

The event all the feelings associated were buried. What we call these types of distraction things are short term emotion avoidance tactics state They help you feel better in each moment. But the thing to be aware of is that you're not feeling better for real. It's a false sense of security, a false feeling of recovering, it fits into that false eating category. So steets are things you do to avoid feeling the pain, numb the pain or take the pain away in the short term. They're often escapism type activities where you keep so focused and busy that there's no time to think about how you're feeling or doing.

If you fill your life with lots of seats, your healing will not progress. The sad thing is that most people who struggle is they have full day lives for so many seats. They can't they they almost feel numb and overwhelmed. They've over busy themselves. And they are just steeped crazy. And they say things like Well, I'm super busy.

I'm like, you know, doing this and this and this and this and they confuse the action and activity with somehow that they've made progress. So you never fully grieve for long enough when you have full dual life full of lots of state. Now there's lots of state examples in the workbook access. socializing over exercising, watching hundreds of episodes of television, shopping, retail therapy work. So those of you that work too much, and pretending something hasn't happened over eating, eating comfort foods like sugary, fatty foods, excessive drinking alcohol, recreational drugs, the list goes on and on. So make sure that you stop and take a list of what are the states that you're using to fill your day.

Now, what are some of the states are quite surprising, like for example, spending countless hours with your children, or spending countless hours doing good deeds for others. Be careful because anything that you do, whether it's selfless or makes you feel good about yourself, and it feels like this is a productive activity, if it's taking you away from actually processing your pain, it is not actually helping you in the long run. The things that really turned out to be your brute your worst Steve could really surprise you. So make sure you take a look at the actual To find out what your seats might be