So now that we've talked about how to process emotion like layers of an onion, let me give you the converse of what most of you might be going through and certainly what one of my clients Lucy went through. We call it the Lucy rollercoaster. So Lucy actually been dealing with her divorce for about six years, and she has been all over the place up and down and backwards and forwards. One minute she was angry the next minute she was super elated feeling freedom, and then she would crash and feel full of grief. And then she would run off to a nightclub and you know, find somebody and sleep with them and then feel elated again, and, and then she would have like a moment of clarity and feel really peace and harmony, and then she would be full of hatred and anger. And just right across, just went off and on and on.

And it was six years of up and down. And there were times in her life where she felt more balanced like when she met somebody and maybe was in a relationship for a little bit. But the minute that person dumped her or moved on, it was just goes straight back into the abdomen to the roller coaster and all the stuff from her big divorce her big breakup would keep crashing back into her life. Now whenever you get to these places where it's up and down and super emotional and you just feeling really distressed and out of thoughts, this is an indication that you have applied lots of avoidance tactics and you're not actually dealing with and confronting your emotions that they call so when you actually could miss understand that if you feel numb or you feel nothing or maybe you just have bad math, that that's you done that you healed that's not you healed at all.

That's actually you feeling strong resignation. And resignation is not a good sign because it's quite difficult when clients come to me and they not really dead resign space to ignite the spark and get them back to be who they are. So, understand the roller coaster and next up I'm going to talk about what the actual healthy healing steps of moving through a divorce and breakup are.