Scenario number one is where you have an ex where there might be no reason like children or business or whatever, to actually stay in contact with their person. Now if you have no reason to stay in touch, I recommend ensuring that you've established your new separate life before you make a transition into choosing where you want to be friends with that person. If you become best buddies too soon, your relationship with your ex could become a social crutch, or something you hide behind in place of creating this new life for yourself. The important point about being friends with your ex is that the relationship should evolve naturally, don't force it. And also it will not happen immediately. It cannot.

In most cases, there needs to be a bit of a gap between parting and actually then coming back together to reset a new kind of foundation on which this relationship will work. So you need some time ensure that your relationship evolves into something that is clear where you can be free In the beginning, I really recommend going cold turkey and not in your ex at all break all contact, delete contact on Facebook and all social media kind of spectrums, stop stalking your ex at the supermarket following your ex, checking out what they're doing with a new person in their life. It's really, really unhealthy. You need to have proper boundaries with your ex. When you have a new relationship, you must also honor that breakup that you've had, you know, so if you've moved on with somebody else, your person that you're with right now is really going to hate you being best buddies with your ex.

So you've got to put your new partner first and any new relationship takes time to develop and you don't want your ex hanging about in the wings to jeopardize things. You have to judge whether a natural friendship with your ex is healthy or not, if it interferes in your new life or your new relationship cooler down. Now for some people and I've had some clients where they've broken up with somebody but they've continued having sex with their ex Sometimes partner continue partners continue their sexual relationship after a breakup. It may be that they're less familiar with each other after the breakup so the stakes can feel more passionate and exciting. And some couples will use each other for sex, although this prolongs to hurt. I know of women who continue to sleep with her ex partners long after they've remarried and had children.

One particular client we shall call her soon so you continue to sleep with her ex husband aid on and off for three years. And even after Sue had remarried, she was continuing this kind of affair with her ex husband. It was really detrimental to both of them moving on or committing to any of the new relationships. So in Sue's new husband found out about her affair with her ex husband, he obviously ended that relationship immediately. Her life became full of turmoil as she went through a second divorce within the space of a year. This is not moving on.

You really need a cambric because that situation for Sue it created a massive me In being dumped by her second husband, she thought that she could just move on with her first husband and when he rejected her because the terms of the sex relationship that they had was completely superficial from his perspective, it massively hurt her and impacted her. You need closure Don't waste your life clinging onto old relationships. Women also are particularly susceptible in keeping with their ex during that kind of panic negotiation phase of the grieving cycle. We use it as a way to get back together. But for some people sex can also be confused with intimacy. So sex and intimacy are never one in the same sex is sex intimacy is intimacy.

And it's really important to be clear on on your competing agendas before embarking on a sexual relationship. So understand the phases that you're going to go through after your divorce understand your hormones and understand that sometimes if you miss being with someone or you actually missing your ex or you missing just being with somebody What happens if your ex says hey, let's just give it another go? Will you actually be able to change? What didn't work first time in your relationship? I don't know. If you're the one leaving that leaving that relationship, and the outcome of your relationship is in your ex's hands, ask yourself, what is it that I want?

Is my ex really the person I want to be with for the rest of my life? What if nothing's actually changed here? Am I actually moving on properly or not moving on properly. If you're confused, I definitely think it's important to have a clean break from this person. It's much better to have clarity when you're outside of the relationship than inside of a strange friendship with your ex, trying to figure it out. If you're still harboring resentment and anger towards your ex, you need to process the whole experience the bitterness of resentment, and ensure that it doesn't have a lasting impact on your life.

If you feel however, that you're none of these categories, and you simply cannot be friends with your work. Sure, though, that you're still in a place where you've processed it so that you can be civil and friendly. There might be mutual friends and invite you both to parties or to weddings, and if you bump into your ex, you don't want it to be awkward for the people that have invited the both of you. So greet your eggs, shake hands, hug only if you really feel comfortable with that. But in the same way that you would greet a business associate, keep it civil, keep your interactions brief, and then move on. That's to ensure that you don't have uncomfortable situations for your friends and family.