So you follow the first step, you figured out all the things this person is doing well, the more the merrier, make that list comprehensive, don't shortchange it, don't try to get as quickly as possible to the criticism, even if the person is asking for it. I'm telling you, it doesn't work. But now that you've done all the praise now that you've listed every single thing they do well, now I want you to focus on one or two things, the person is really doing wrong, where you need improvement. Now, you've got to segue into that gracefully. What I do with presentations is remind the person Okay, here are all your strengths, you have good core set of communication strengths. Now, let's talk about areas for improvement.

That's what I would recommend you to so if you're telling someone, hey, you have good communication skills in general, let's talk about how to improve your phone skills talking to angry Clients are angry customers is a lot better than saying oh, my God, Fred, you sound like a complete jerk talking to clients on the phone. I wouldn't want to be one of our customers if I had to deal with you. Tonight, maybe true, just too negative. So summarize by saying they have good core strengths and whatever area it is you're talking about, and then say, Now, let's talk about an area for improvement. An area for improvement sounds a lot more hopeful than you're an idiot. You're doing it all wrong.

You're complete, incompetent. You know, people like to pride themselves on being plainspoken and telling it like it is. It just doesn't work. I wish it did. It just doesn't work. Now, I'm not suggesting you sugarcoat things, but I am suggesting that you place it in the right context and you set yourself up for Success and you set up the person you're trying to help for success.

So rather than saying You're awful, let's D personalize it a little, let's say okay, here's an area for improvement. If we could somehow reduce the ohms and ahhs that are coming out, you'll see much more comfortable, you'll see more confident. Notice how I said that I didn't say you sound like a complete blistering idiot when every other words and not how I phrased it. It's about here's the biggest area for improvement. If fewer and arms can come out during the presentation, you'll sound more comfortable and confident. So I'm clearly talking about what the problem is.

But I'm making it a little less personal. Talking about it just as a process, these arms and arms are coming up. And then I talked about the benefits that will happen. You This problem can be solved. So that's my next challenge for you. Don't try to tell someone 100 things they're doing wrong, or 50 things, let's focus on one or two.

I mean, if someone you're working with really is doing everything wrong, you should probably give them a pink slip and have them find employment elsewhere or suggest they go into another line of work. You can't solve a problem where someone has absolutely no skills. I mean, if I am joining your professional golf team, and you see me out on the golf course, and you realize, teacher, you can't hit wood, you can't pitch and you can't really pot you can't seem to shoot over or less than 200 you're probably not going to be a professional golf. There's not much you can do as far from constructive criticism, to make me a professional golfer. Now, of course, you could help improve my strokes or improve my game. But you've got to look at the big picture and what you're trying to accomplish.

And that's why I've urging you focus on one or two really specific things that the person is doing wrong, that are correctable. So focus on that that's your homework right now for one of the people you work with, whether it's a boss, a colleague, or an employee who reports to you try to isolate, and try to be able to talk about it just a sentence or two, what is the one really specific thing or two really specific things that you want to focus on? And what I'd recommend if there are more if there are five or 10. Let's just talk about one at a time and let's try to focus on improving those rather than overwhelming the person. Let's make incremental improvements. We don't have to make every single improvement at once.

So that's your homework, pick one thing, write it down as to what the person is doing wrong. That's a problem.